Thermal Ties

ITN News reported that the British Department of Energy, as part of its ongoing effort to help companies save money by reducing office heating bills, had developed a thermally insulated tie. Our research, the DOE's Chief Scientist Dr. Derek Pooley explained,

has discovered that heat loss from the body is particularly important in the front of the chest, and this thermally insulated tie is to prevent heat loss from that part of the body.

The DOE predicted that if office workers were to wear these thermal ties, British companies could save up to £5 million annually on heating bills. Conservative MP Anthony Beaumont-Dark subsequently reprimanded the DOE for participating in the spoof news video, noting that such pranks were

OK for the music hall, but we do not expect this type of thing from government departments.

Sidd Finch

The April 1985 issue of Sports Illustrated revealed that the New York Mets had recruited a rookie pitcher named Sidd Finch who could throw a baseball at 168 mph - 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never played baseball before, but he had mastered the art of the pitch in a Tibetan monastery. Mets fans couldn't believe their good luck and, accepting at face value the peculiarities of Sidd Finch's past, flooded Sports Illustrated with requests for more information. But in reality this amazing player only existed in the imagination of author George Plimpton, who had left a clue in the sub-heading of the article:

He's a pitcher, part yogi and part recluse. Impressively liberated from our opulent life-style, Sidd's deciding about yoga - and his future in baseball.

The first letter of each of these words, taken together, spelled H-a-p-p-y A-p-r-i-l F-o-o-l-s D-a-y - A-h F-i-b.